Monday 5 October 2009

hate is the new love

a big sigh of relief, finally

the second i sent the denture off for final processing, i felt like yelling at the top of my lungs,''Woohoooo, i've done my first denture!!!"

Looking back on all my prosthodontic misfortunes, it wasn't easy for me to come to this stage
While people happily delivered their 4th denture, i was still cracking on my 1st and worse, i had people who had completed 2 or 3 dentures come up to me, complaining of having trouble meeting the requirements.
Most of the time, i just agreed or joined in the whinge coz i din know how to console them when i was already in deep mud. I know it's human nature to fret and enjoy talking about oneself so i dun really blame them for being insensitive. Rather, i throw the blame at my own bad luck which my clincial partner once described as incredible and partly, myself for being a quitter..no, i shud say for being MADE a quitter. Why? Take a look at what i have done in 2 years of Pros - 2 discharged patients with zero denture made and one partial denture in stagnant progress. What an achievement! I'm totally stressed out everytime i think of Pros, not only the fact that i'm way behind in my work, also the fear that i dun understand what i am doing in Pros.

When my friend told me the 5 stages of grief, i somehow see myself fitting in all stages
  1. Denial
    I din wan to admit how lost i was in pros lectures and even in lab dems. They were mostly taught b4 we started pros clinics so i thought i would pick up along the way once we got a patient.
  2. Anger.
    My first patient kept missing his appointment and the second patient decided to put her treatment on hold for medical reason. Both left me in fury over wasting one year for nothing
  3. Bargaining.
    The frustrating me made bargains with the power from above, asking, "If i do my work religiously, will you let me sail through Prosthodontics?"
  4. Depression.
    hopelessly miserable when i was stuck at my first partial denture..Why am i still trapped in this ill fate after what i have been through..why????
  5. Acceptance.
    Before today, I was at this stage where i simply accepted that i had no choice but to knuckle down on Pros in the remaining time.
Now that i have passed all 5 stages so what's next?
whatever it is, i hope it is a good one
at least I dun hate prosthodontics like how i used to
Gosh, how one denture changed everything!!

4 comments:

ashieBee said...

well done :)) pray hard that it'll be easy during the review appointment. *fingers crossed*

melwy said...

wow, hardship hardship, huhu, but congrats having ur first done!

our batch was told that we are 9 mths behind (we hvnt even submitted our cast for Pros 1, the one we did our fisr impression taking, 'impressive'), and now we are having Pros 2, on RPD >.<

wish u all the best though, the worst is over!

h.3.l.3.n said...

congrats on ur new dentures! at least ur pros is moving!

i think the biggest motivator for ur pros is mcdreamy.. hehe

ashieBee said...

cop! did u learn all this in dr. m's lecture? hehehehe. when she mentioned it just now, i was like... hmm this sounded familiar! where did i read it before? :P nwyyy i was in emergency bay just now. saw ur pt. hihii.