Wednesday 29 October 2008

A letter from an angry brain


Dear Ma'am,

For the past 3 weeks, i have been

...deprived of the most fundamental labour's right which is the right to rest and leisure, including reasonable limitation of working hours and periodic holidays with pay

...treated like a slave for working extra hours without wages

...fed with junk food and starved occasionally when you are not in the mood for cooking

...sedated with caffeine and tricked into working

...forced to ingest food with weird names like HHD,DM,Endo,GA etc in bulk and not allowed to puke although i'm already full coz you say it's not the right time yet

...trying to show you i'm exhausted, sleepless and depressed but you just don't care

...mentally and physically abused

Now i'm telling you for one last time

TREAT ME GOOD OR I'LL QUIT!!


Yours angrily,
Brain


Tuesday 28 October 2008

Dove and Olive branch


What's so stressful about being a dental student?

reduced holidays, criticism at work, low passing rate in exam, endless clinical requirements, balance between manual skills and communication skills, insufficient treatment time, high expectations from tutor, patient's satisfaction, ever-changing rules of dentistry, risk of infections and..........

......harmony in the dental team
which i think, is the hardest to achieve

Why?

the reason is simple : we r humans, the most complex animal species, behaviorally, socially, and culturally.
Maybe we can improve our interpersonal skills but the relationship between other members in the team is not within our control.

Tough, isn't it?

Well, perhaps the only consolation is we dun hav to deal with life and death like our fellow medics




Now i know why there is Nobel Peace Prize


Sunday 26 October 2008

Haywire


can't stay focused in my work so i start browsing through nonsense on the net as usual

found some funny quotes which i can relate to


You Know You Have Had Too Much Coffee When…

The nurse needs a scientific calculator to take your pulse

Juan Valdez names his donkey after you

You have to watch videos in fast-forward

You lick your coffee pot clean

Your eyes stay open when you sneeze

You’re so wired you pick up FM radio

Your life’s goal is to “amount to a hill of beans”

Instant coffee takes too long

You want to be cremated just so you can spend eternity in a coffee can

You name your cats “Cream” and “Sugar”

Your lips are permanently stuck in the sipping position

Your first-aid kit contains two pints of coffee with an I.V. hookup

You get a speeding ticket even when you’re parked

You grind your coffee beans in your mouth

You sleep with your eyes open

You can type sixty words a minute with your feet

You can jump-start your car without cables

Your only sources of nutrition comes from “Sweet & Low”

You don’t sweat, you percolate

You’ve worn out the handle on your favorite coffee mug

You go to AA meetings just for the free coffee

You’ve worn the finish off you coffee table

The Taster’s Choice couple wants to adopt you

Starbuck’s owns the mortgage on your house

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Doctor : Do you have a problem with caffeine?

Patient : I only have a problem without caffeine.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Sleep is a symptom of caffeine deprivation.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Behind every successful woman is a substantial amount of coffee.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Everybody should believe in something. I believe I'll have another coffee.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Given enough coffee, I could rule the world.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Coffee is a beverage that puts one to sleep when not drank.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


okie dokie...enuf of coffee talk

back to exam...

''80% of the final exam will be based on the one lecture you missed and the one book you didn’t read.''

Damn! i cant remember how many lectures i missed and how many books i didn't read....

*faint*






Friday 24 October 2008

When sleep becomes a luxury


A recap of the past busy week


Monday

1.53pm The ease of newham week continued until i received a text from Helen dat said ''Perio seminar at 2pm on the 6th floor''..right away jumped off my cosy bed, dressed, grasped my bag and ran to dental institute...still, i was late for 5 min.

3.30pm - 5pm Perio

Tuesday

10.30am Just when everyone in my grp was happily enjoying a morning off, Mrs B spoiled it by calling all of us back for lab demo.

11.30-1.30pm Lab demo

2pm -5pm Cons. Karn's patient DNA so we decided to sort out our prd6..got the patients' notes and went to fifth floor to ask for signatures b4 handing in the paper

Wednesday

8.15am woke up in a strange dim. Power failure in Floyer

9.20am breakfast at Nucleus b4 heading BLT for lectures

10am-12.30pm Lectures

2pm-5pm first attempt at GA essay..dozed off a few times while reading the boring journals

8pm - 2am second attempt after the first attempt was in vain.

2.30am brain started to crash. Had to call it a night

Thursday

8.30am woke up in panic

9.40am reached Barkantine. 10min late...all bays taken but some patients were booked in at later appointment so had to stick around.

10.30am called patient in

10.30-11.30am Check-up + X-rays+ case presentation. A seemingly straightforward periodontitis turned out to be ANUG (acute necrotising ulcerated gingivitis) and suspected oral malignancy a.k.a oral cancer

11.30 -12.30pm long discussion with tutor and patient on treatment plan

1.20pm Reached whitechapel and suddenly realised my USB was missing. Rushed back to floyer to get a backup copy of OS presentation.

1.30pm arrived in time to do the presentation

2 -4.30pm Did an extraction on a patient who had a prosthetic mitral valve and pacemaker and was on warfarin. The tooth came out intact but bled non-stop so i had to stitch up the wound.I did my FIRST SUTURE ever!! Still, blood continued oozing out.Tense!It took almost one hr to achieve haemostasis..my goodness! patient was happy while the dentist was worn-out but relieved.

4.45pm Cleaned up and saw patient's dentures lying in the corner. ..immediately ran to the pharmacy to return him the dentures.

5- 6.30pm OSCE practice.Hungry and exhausted

8 - 9.30pm tossed and turned on the bed..too tense to sleep

10- 12am completed GA essay at last. starving again but i was too tired to eat so jz went to bed with growling stomach and heavy head

Friday

9am went to library to print out my GA essay then headed Third Floor Clinic for paeds

10am patient DNA but tutor allocated me a random patient booked in by some anonymous dentist.Idiot!

10.15 - 11am history and exam..then suddenly an SHO appeared and said the patient was booked in by her to fit in a new base plate. Therefore she took over the examination and that means i lost a patient...wasted 1 hr on a poor forgotten child patient when i cud have got a morning off...*fuming*

11- 1pm submitted essay + royal mail + bank errands --stupid HSBC can't find my card so they reordered another one which will be sent to a different branch for stupid security reason. Worse still, my old card was blocked half an hr after. So, no spending until the new card arrives...arghhh



Sleep deprivation, exam stress, financial problem, undernourishment, weight loss, messed up biological clock, endless work, loss of concentration, adrenaline surge, forgetfulness....all add up to a grumpy worthless zombie who needs only a bed and silence.

Where are my series nights?Where are my sleep-in days?Where are all the times of idleness and reverie?

too busy to relax? too busy to enjoy a cup of coffee? too busy to stop and admire the beauty of small things around me?

I want my sweet times back!

*sob*



Tuesday 21 October 2008

No goodbyes


''The true sadness is not in the pain of the parting; it is in the when and the how you are to meet again with the face about to vanish from your view''


For the second time of my life, i've felt the dearest-friends-must-part pain.

When my best friend n i had to go our separate ways we promised each other we wud keep in touch wherever we went and our friendship would stand the test of time . It hurt but we were optimistic that the parting was gonna be a short-lived one.

Now, another close friend of mine is leaving soon. But, this time i 'm not so certain if we'll see each other again as it seems to me our futures will be like two diverging lines, going further n further apart. God knows when we shall meet again. It's tearing me apart.

For what's worth, this parting is not the death of our friendship. Maybe our paths wont cross in the future. Maybe our friendship will change somewhat over time. Maybe we will think of each other a little less with each passing day.Who knows?
But one thing for sure is that i will never ever forget her.

So long, my dear, dear friend!

*hugs*

Friday 17 October 2008

1 second is all it takes


I only realised today that many things in life can happen in one second

It only takes one second to say hi or goodbye, fall in love or hate a person, score a goal or miss a goal, crash or prevent a crash, lose a life or save a life......

24 hrs in a day, minus 8 hrs of sleep, 3hrs for shower,meals etc = 13 hrs left
Converting 13 hrs into second, we have 46800 seconds in a day
If one second is all it takes, why do we always complain we dun have enough time?
It is terrifying how many seconds i have wasted over the past 23 yrs
I guess i just have to stop following the think-twice rule sometimes and start taking action b4 i lose another second of my life



Free ear piercing at Claire's when u buy the ear care solution and earrings. It was funny when i had to sign my very first consent form which i always give to my patients as a routine b4 extraction


an impulsive one-second decision prompted by Allishia, the fashion icon of my group. Gosh, i wonder why i have been taking years to make up my mind!!




Monday 13 October 2008

Expectations (high vs low)



Never have unrealistic high expectations for anything coz nothing is ever as good as you imagine it.
Having said that, you should try to be optimistic but, cautiously.
That way you wont be too let down when reality sets in
But, if it turns out to be great then you can be happily surprised

This week is actually an A&E week at Newham for my group.
I was told that it's very relaxing. In fact, we can even earn one week holiday if we collect signatures from all 4 departments in one day. Imagine we just need to stay there for one day or perhaps, half a day, get signed off and then save the hassle of going in for the rest of the week. Sounds nice, doesn't it?

I was skeptical about that idea somehow. Getting all the signatures in one day is not entirely impossible. It's just a matter of having the guts to ask for them. I heard some doctors wont sign without getting you do anything while some will put down the date n time so that you cant escape the following shifts.

However, it turns out that i got 3 out of 4 signed off b4 lunchtime..woohoo!!
i hav to attribute this to my groupmates, bryar and amrita, for their perseverance in asking for signatures. I doubt dat i'd have the same courage if i were by myself.

Although i have to go back there on Friday morning to hand in my report and get the last slot signed, i should count myself lucky. After all, it's already better than i expected.

In this world, nothing is for certain.
Therefore, it's better to prepare for the worst but try your best anyway than to have high expectations and be disappointed later.



Music Therapy


10th Nov
marks the outbreak of the battle of exam
notes upon notes
words upon words
pile on the pressure as the time flies by
the euphoric effect of coffee can merely linger for as long as the coffee lasts
aromatherapy and herbal therapy are no longer effective
so the only stress killer left thus far
is ........ MUSIC

catchy, acoustic, well-crafted, clean rock


full of cheer and spunk, easy to relate to lyrics


jazzy piano pop melodies


soulful blues with world-weary voice



Friday 10 October 2008

Run Baby Run!


Someone must have casted a hunger spell on me today

This morning my group had orthodontic seminar on the third floor clinic
It all went well until the last 15 min

**Growl**

My grumbling stomach broke the silence
Everyone roared with laughter

"Yin missed her breakfast'' Mo giggled

NOoo...i didnt!!! i wanted to shout it out but was too embarrassed to defend my crabby stomach

In fact, i had yogurt, soya milk and muesli for breakfast. I even brought a large coffee to seminar...
How come i was still hungry??

After the seminar i headed back to my room n gobbled up half a box of the cereals. Normally i just have coffee for lunch but today....no idea

Later in the afternoon i went to the library for revision.
the morning incident was still fresh in my memory so i grabbed two bananas b4 i left

Library was crowded but quiet..everyone was busy swotting

After one hour, i started feeling hungry
This time i was more prepared, ate my bananas and carried on my work
Then, another hour passed
my stomach felt empty again
but i just ate one hr ago
i thought ...maybe it was psychological..or maybe it was my body's negative feedback to books..or maybe....

**Growwwllllll**

Arghhh...I din dare to look around me
Like greased lightning, i packed up all my stuff and fled b4 i embarrassed myself the second time

When was the last time i was this ravenous??

Honestly, i can't remember



Thursday 9 October 2008

The only way up is down


If the only way to learn is to fall
why should i fear falling?
it is painful but i'll get numb with it
i have been watching my step every time i walk just not to lose my footing
that's why i never learn

But
today i stumbled.....hard
i hurt but i learnt
i shan't blame luck for betraying me
coz only an idiot would count on luck
And
i shall rise above
next time when i trip i shall stand up quicker than now

4.4mg/kg

i shall be perished if i ever let you slip my mind again



Wednesday 8 October 2008

Antisleeping pills


i need them

my bedtime has always been 1 or 2am
but
since i started revision i have been sleeping much earlier than usual
i even dozed off on the chair while reading the notes on the laptop screen
now when i read the first line i start yawning
it's getting more serioussss
worried + stressed
i've heard of sleeping pill but right now i need the opposite of that

*sob*




Friday 3 October 2008

Pandora's box



a myth
i always think of when i see evil in men

i was brought up to believe all men r born kind
but i see otherwise as i grow up
who's to blame?
Pandora's box
for releasing all the evils of mankind

i wonder what life is like inside the box
full of hopes?free of all evils?

if the box had never been unlocked
the hope imprisoned inside had never been unleashed
why would we still pray for miracles?

maybe life is not hopeless
but we are just pathetically hopelessly humans




Thursday 2 October 2008

Tag Tag Tag!



first time i hav been tagged by someone or maybe i shud say this is the first time i've realised i hav been tagged by someone as i dun check up on others' blogs as regular as some people *blekkk*


anyway, the follwings are helen's tag

1. 7 facts about me
i am picky esp when it comes to food
i love shopping
i am a coffee addict
i am a slow eater..actually i drink slow too
i tend to procrastinate my work
i am on low salt, low fat and low sugar diet
i like to keep a low profile


2. 7 things that scares me
cockroaches
weirdos/ psychos/maniacs
pain
failures
getting fat
loss of control
death

3. 7 songs that i like now
Out of this club
You make it real
Best of me
The man who can't be moved
So what
Keeps getting better
2 in the morning

4. 7 things i always say
okay
shit!
one grande caramel latte, please
it's so hot
fattening
i'm so tired
i need my coffee


5. 7 things of value to me
life
family
friendship
internet
money
health
music


6. 7 first-times in life (that is important)
1st time confessed a secret crush
1st time betrayed
1st time failed in exam
1st time traveled alone
1st time stayed away from home
1st time got a job
1st time seen leehom up close

7. 7 people i want to tag (precious choice for ppl who blogs actively!)
shee
jason
lene
yilun
ashie bee
noreen
pei lian